Alchemist Ninja: Naruto
by Namikaze Minato
Summary: Naruto had Ed, Al, and Winry from FMA sealed inside him at the same time as Kyuubi was. He must learn Alchemy to kill a new being that threatens both universes. NaruxHina Possible NaruxHarem EdxWin. AlxFemKyuu. Lemons later. Uber Naruto. NarutoFMA x-over.
1. Chapter 1

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"Blah"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon think.

**"Blah"**-Deity talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Deity think.

* * *

For those of you that are too stupid to tell, this is a new story by yours truly, Namikaze Minato. Also, this is a FMA Naruto crossover. I would like to thank Shingen Takeda 1521 for being my beta on Naruto, Friend of Many. I expect to make this story as good, if not better, than Naruto, Friend of Many. Good day, all.

* * *

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A BUG WOULDN'T TELL IF IT STEPPED ON HIM?!" A young blonde man yelled.

"That isn't what I said, Brother, what I said was that you are just a little shorter than me..." A tall... talking suit of... armor... said to him.

"Shut up, Al." The blonde man said back. In truth, the man, Edward Elric, was quite short in stature.

"Ok, Brother, but we need to get going to stop those people from bringing back the Homunculi." Al said, reminding Ed. Al is approximately seven feet tall, and had giant metal spikes sticking out from his shoulders and forehead. When he and his brother were trying to bring back their deceased mother, they crossed over onto God's domain: Creating Life. Al had his body destroyed by the 'Gate of Truth' as it is called. As his soul was about to be destroyed, Ed attached it to a suit of armor, sacrificing his right arm. They had to stop the Saigen Shakai (Limits/Revival Society) from reviving the Homunculi, soul-less bodies.

Ed jumped over the box he was hiding behind, and clapped his hands together, getting ready to use alchemy. He slapped his hands to the ground, bending the molecules in the concrete to his will, making a giant fist to punch one of the people in the face. It connected, but it was too late; the Saigen Shakai had partially revived the Homunculi. It only brought back the red stones that they lived off of, and fused them together, making a new entity. The new entity killed all of it's summoners.

"Oh shit." Ed said under his breath.

The new entity just said, "My name is Inmetsu," and then the 'Gate' was summoned up and he walked through it.

"Edward Elric, you are the only one that has ever defied me, but this new entity, 'Inmetsu' has done the same. I am going to seal you, Al, and Winry inside the mind of a newborn babe on the other side of my existence. The other side of my existence is called You have 24 hours to gather whatever you want to take with you. I will appear to Al and Winry to tell them the same thing. Get ready for hell until the babe, Naruto, has killed Inmetsu, when you will come back here with your real limbs," the Gate said. Ed's golden eyes widened, and he started running around.

"Woo-hoo! Ima gonna get my limbs back!!" Ed yelled.

"As I was saying, your brother will get his body back, and it will be fast forewarded to look like what it would had he not lost it. Oh, and by the way Winry likes you," the Gate said before dissapearing.

24 HOURS LATER

* * *

So, Al, Winry, are you ready to go? We don't really have a choice, but are you ready?" Ed asked the afforementioned people.

"Yes, I am ready, brother," Al said, carrying all of the stuff he needed.

"Yep, you idiot," Winry said, handling her wrench, making Ed back up a few paces.

_"I think that the Gate was lying about her liking me..." _Ed thought. Right when he thought this, the Gate appeared, causing him to jump.

"One, I wasn't lying to you Edward, and two, for a shrimp, you sure can jump. And they say white boys can't jump(I am white, so if I was being racist, I would be racist towards myself... and I am Native American, and French, and German, and Scottish, and too damn many other things.) Three, get ready to be sealed," the Gate said, confusing the other two about the first thing, making them laugh at the second, and making their eyes grow cold at the third. A alchemy circle appeared under the three and their baggage, which glowed blue, and they dissapeared.(If you want a visualazation of the circle, check my profile and click the first link.) When they could see again, they were inside of an empty space, until a giant cage with a huge fox popped into existance out of nowhere.

"HOLY SHIT!!" Ed yelled, freaking out because they were sharing the space with a fucking FOX!

"What the fuck!" Winry yelled for the same reason.

"Well, this is weird," Al just said.

**"Well, what do we have here? Some more poor saps that were sealed into this flesh-bag?" **The giant fox, known as the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune, said in his low baritone voice.

"What the fuck are you?" Ed asked the fox.

**"I am a demon known as the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune. Please call me by my real name, Toumoku." **He said.

"Um, ok, Toumoku. What did you do to get sealed in this 'flesh-bag' as you called him? We were sealed in here to teach him our abilities." Winry asked him.

**"I attacked his father's village. Then his dad sealed me inside him. Any questions? No? Good." **Toumoku said.

"Ok. I do have a question. Why did you attack the village?" Ed asked.

**"Good question, shorty. I..."** Toumoku stopped after seeing Ed start steaming.

"Don't. Call. Me. SHORT!!" Ed yelled, before clapping his hands, and slamming them onto the bars of the cage. The cage started to get smaller, making Toumoku beg for mercy.

**"Please don't kill me! I swear I won't call you the 'S Word' again!" **Toumoku begged.

"Ok!" Ed said, cheerfully.

**"Ok, as I was saying. I was attacked by them as I was on my way to Wind country from Lightning country." **Toumoku explained.

_"Wind country? Lightning country? What is he talking about?" _The three humans thought.

"Ok, so what are Wind country and Lightning country?" Winry asked.

**"So, you are foreigners? They are countries that have ninja nations inside of them. I was on my to Wind to talk to Shukaku, a demon like me." **Toumoku explained.

"Yeah, you could say we are foreigners. We are actually from another universe. One called Amestris. There, we use alchemy, the practice of changing things into other things. I am Ed, the giant tin-can is Al, my brother, and the female of this group is Winry. Pleased to meet you." Ed said before getting slammed into the ground by the 'tin-can'.

"Brother, don't call me a tin-can. It will be your demise." Al said.

" Dumb ass." Winry said, while slapping her forehead.

**"Note to self; Do not call Al a tin-can, and do not call Ed sho-ahslkjfdhk-rt**(the ahslkjfdhk is used to make a weird noise so that the word isn't completed. From now on I will use two dashed in the middle of a word like this: je--rk.)**. What shouldn't I call the chick?" **Toumoku said.

"Don't. Call. Me. A. CHICK!!" Winry yelled, throwing her wrench at the bars.

**"That is what I shouldn't call her." **Toumoku said, before yelping in pain as the wrench hit him between the eyes. **"Hey, Ed, would you mind alchemizing some sort of screen so that we can see what is going on outside of our host?" **Toumoku asked.

"Sure, no problem, except for the law of equivalent exchange. Eh, lets try it." Ed said, before using the clapping maneuver. A giant screen appeared before their eyes, and they saw a man blow fire at the boy's face.

**"And some sort of speaker system so that we can hear?" **Toumoku said.

Ed did what he was asked, and they heard an old man yell, "ENOUGH! You will NOT harm Naruto. He is the Yondaime's legacy, and if you speak of his burden to anybody under the age of three, you WILL die."

"So, the laws of equivalent exchange do not apply in here? Hot damn." Ed said.

"Sarutobi, we must kill the demon child. He must not be allowed to live." One of the men said, before a kunai was embedded in his throat.

"What did I just say? You won't harm Naruto. Got it?" The man, now known as Sarutobi, said.

"Yes sir!" All of the still alive men said.

"I take it this man is the leader of the village." Ed said.

**"Yeah. He is the Sandaime Hokage." **Toumoku said. **"I am going to sleep until the brat comes into his own mind." **

"Yeah, me too." Ed said.

"Yup." Al said.

"Goodnight, Ed." Winry said, before snuggling up to him.

_"Wow, to Gate wasn't lying." _Ed thought, before falling asleep.

3 Years Later

* * *

"Where am I?" A young boy with spiky blonde hair and sapphire blue eyes said. He was on a beach that had three people and a fox with a collar on it. One of the people was a male with somewhat long, blonde hair in a braided ponytail. He was wearing a black jacket, and was asleep. Another of the people was a female with long blonde hair that was flowing over her sholders, and had a white shirt and blue jeans on. The las was a man in a suit of armor that had spikes on the sholders and one coming out of his forehead. The fox, while laying down was at least 75 meters tall, had blood red fur, and nine whipping tails behind it.

_"Kyuubi? I thought the Yondaime killed it."_ Naruto thought, before realizing that this was his mind, because there was a screen that showed the outside world, the inside of a dumpster. _"So, the Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi inside of me? It makes sense now. My birthday is on the same day as the attack, and I get called a demon by the village and am beaten."_(As you can tell, Naruto is quite advanced for his age.)

Naruto saw one of the figures stirring, the man in the armor. "Hey, mister, who are you?" Naruto called out to him.

"I am Alphonose Elric, just call me Al, and I am sealed inside your mind. The blonde male over there is my brother, Edward Elric, just call him Ed, and don't call him short. The blonde female is Winry Rockbell. Let me wake them up." Al said.

"Um, why are you in armor?" Naruto asked.

"I am not _in _armor, I am armor. My soul was bound to the armor." Al said, before kicking Ed in the ribs.

Naruto was shocked that one, someone's soul was bound to armor, and two, that he would kick his own brother in the ribs.

"You stupid soda-can. Don't fu... Oh, hello, Naruto. Have you realized that this is your mind?" Ed said, before getting kicked in the back of the head, courtesy of Al, waking Winry up.

"Yes, I have realized it." Naruto said.

"Where am I? Oh yeah. Hi, Naruto. Whats up?" Winry asked.

"I fell asleep, and I was telemorted into my mind." Naruto said.(Remember that he is three. He doesn't know how to say 'teleported'.)

"Hey, Naruto, you have GOT to get rid of that jumpsuit. It is hideous. Al and I will be teaching you something called Alchemy, and Winry will be teaching you... whatever she teaches you. With Alchemy, you can do many things, including make your own weapons, fix your weapons, make clothes, make gold, and a lot more stuff." Ed said. "But, first, you have to train your mind. Come here."

Naruto did as he was told, and walked over to Ed.

"This is the periodic table of elements. Memorize it in a week. Come back here when you have." Ed said, handing Naruto the sheet.

Naruto just walked off to another part of his mind. When darkness came, Ed walked over to him, and made fire for light using alchemy.

One Mind Week Later

* * *

"I have the periodic table memorized. Every single bit of it. I hate it. Now, what do you want me to do?" Naruto said to Ed.

"Get out of your mind, and think of a large, yellow circle. Imagine yourself jumping into it, and imerse yourself with it. Then draw a circle that looks like this." Ed drew the circle. "I then want you to clap your hands together and slam them into the circle. Think of the elements in the pavement, and CHANGE them into new clothes. Go, NOW!" Ed said, before kicking Naruto out of his own mindscape.

(EXIT MINDSCAPE)

Naruto thought of the yellow circle, and imagined himself hopping into it. He felt energized, and started drawing the circle with a peice of chalk that just happened to be there. When he was done, he clapped his hands together, and a yellow spark appeared. He slammed his hands into the circle, and concentrated of the elements. He thought of carbon and sodium; Magnesium and silicon. He changed them into a new pair of clothes. The shirt was a neutral grey, and the pants had many pockets for random crap, and were navy blue. Naruto stripped off his current clothes, and put the new ones on. He felt like a new person, and it was true.

_"Good job, Naruto, and welcome to your tor-- I mean training." _Ed said through their mindlink. Naruto just whimpered. And so began the new life of Naruto, the Alchemist Ninja.

* * *

2194 words of actual story content. Almost 5 pages. Tired fingers. R&R NOW. Just hit the bluish button at the bottom left of your screen, and type a review. Also, Shingen Takeda 1521, I would like to ask you, What e-mail server do you use? Like yahoo, aol, etc.


	2. Chapter 2

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"__Blah__"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon think.

**"****Blah****"**-Deity talk.

_**"**__**Blah**__**"**_-Deity think.

* * *

This is Namikaze Minato. For the next while, updating on both of my stories will be incredibly slow, because I never get a chance for my damn mother to be gone long enough to type a chapter up. I am starting this chapter at 5:00 PM CST 10/23/08 for reference. I am going to the Renaissance Festival on the 29th and the 30ith.

* * *

_"I said to hold yourself up on the pillar of sand for four hours, but you were only able to hold it for three and a half hours! This is pathetic. I know you want to kill Inmetsu, so that Al, Winry, and I can get back to our own universe, but still. You need to get off of your laze ass and start training." _Ed yelled at Naruto.

_"I am only four, damnit. I don't have the stamina to do this for FOUR hours! Stupid ass." _Naruto argued.

_"That is a good point, kit. The only problem with your idea is that you are using all of my stamina..." _Toumoku said.

_"Shut up, Tou-chan." _Naruto asked her.

_"One, don't tell Tou-chan to shut up; and two, get back to your training. Let's do jutsu now, start with Katon:Goukakyu and try for an hour until you get it perfected or the time is up." _Al instructed to Naruto, going into Drill Sargent mode.

_"Oh mommy." _Naruto murmered.

As Naruto cut the link between him and his 'conscience'(as Ed, Al, Winry, and Toumoku will be referred to as from now on...) he started the handsigns for Goukakyu, and as he finished them, he inhaled, made a circle using his thumb and forefinger, and exhaled through the same circle. He saw a tiny spark, and realised the BLARING reason that is wasn't working. The air is ignited when it passes through the fingers, not the mouth. He redid the handsigns, and repeated the process, except he added the chakra at his fingers, not his lungs. He had no idea how much chakra to add, and as the fire ball came out, he choked. The ball was twenty meters in radius. That means fourty meters across.

Unbeknowst to him, Kakashi was watching him in his ANBU gear, and his eyes widened for two reasons. One, the boy, Naruto, was able to even _use _the jutsu at the age of four. Two, the shere size of the fireball was freaking huge.

_"Hey, Naruto, I sense someone watching you. Just call him Inu-san." _Ed told him.

"Oi, Inu-san, you can come out. I know you are watching." Naruto called out into the trees.

Kakashi almost gagged, and fell out of the tree. This four year old just sensed that he was here. He was a goddamn ANBU captain, and this child sensed him like it was nothing. _"Either I am getting rusty, or this child is something extremely special. Even for the Kyuubi's container."_  
"Ok, how does that make you feel?" Kakashi asked, making it seem like nothing.

"It makes me feel like you are a stalker. Are you Orochimaru in desguise? The damn pedophile..." Naruto said with a foxy grin.

"W...What the FUCK!" Kakashi sputtered out, "No, I am not Orochimaru. I am... Inu-san as you shall know me by. Let us go to the Hokage's office. I need to talk to him about you." He said lazily.

"Oh no. You aren't going to beat me like the villagers, are you?" Naruto asked, backing away, frightened.

_"Is it really that bad for him? I guess I really did screw up something bad by leaving him by himself each time a mob broke out." _"No, I am not going to hurt you, Naruto. I want to help you. And that jutsu you used, it is quite advanced for someone as young as you." Kakashi said, consoling Naruto's fears.

"Ok, lets go," Naruto said cheerily, but then asked, "Why were you hiding from me, though."

"I was trying to judge your abilities. It seems you are quite good at tracking." Kakashi made something up on the spot.

"Cool. Good to know I'm not doing shittily." Naruto responded. Kakashi just sweatdropped at his choice of language. **_Scene Change, Hokage's Office

* * *

_**"Oi, Hokage-jiji, I'm here!" Naruto yelled joiously.

Once again, Kakashi just sweatdropped, this time at Naruto's lack of respect for the Hokage.

"Oh, hello Naruto. What are you doing here? And, what is young Inu-san doing with you?" The Hokage asked.

"We are here to talk about Naruto, sir. I observed him using the Goukakyu. It was... large, also. I am talking about like, fourty meters in diameter kind of large." Kakashi reported.

Sarutobi just fell out of his chair. _"Fourty meters? That is insane. Naruto is advancing extremely quickly."  
_"Inu-san, I want you to do two things. One, do a blood check on Naruto for Uchiha blood; and two, I want you to take him as your apprentice. No if's and's or but's." Sarutobi instructed Kakashi.

Kakashi was just blank for a few moments, then, "Huh?" was uttered.

"I didn't stutter, Inu. If you don't, you will be downsized to D-ranked missions for a year."

"Oh my god. You wouldn't?" Kakashi sputtered. Sarutobi just nodded that he would. Kakashi resided to the authority of the Hokage and asked, "If the blood test shows up positive?"

"If it shows up positive, he moves in with the Uchiha, and we tell him his heritage." Sarutobi said.

"I already know my heritage. The... Hokage-jiji, can you use a silencing jutsu?" Naruto started.

"Sure, Naruto-kun." Sarutobi said, uncertainly. He put up the silencing jutsu, and Naruto spoke again.

"I am the Yondaime's and Uzumaki Kushina's son. It is freaking obvious, really. I look exactly like the Yondaime, except for the whiskers, and I act exactly like Kushina. Do I really look that stupid?" Naruto spoke.

"Um... That is exactly correct, Naruto. So, does that mean you know about your inheritance?" Sarutobi sputtered.

"Yeah. I want my house and the money, please. Oh, and the rights to the library, the forbidden scroll, and the many other things mentioned in my inheritance. Like, right now, please." Naruto demanded.

"Um. Okay. Here is the bank account information, and this the address to the house. Bring this to the library to gain the rights, and here is the pass code to get to the forbidden scroll." Sarutobi said.

"What about the rest of the stuff?"

"You will get that later. When you turn chuunin."

"Muahahaha!" Naruto laughed manically.

"What the hell was with the laugh?" Kakashi asked.

"I dunno. I was bored." Naruto said.

"Okay..." Both Sarutobi and Kakashi said at the same time.

**_Scene Change, Village Library

* * *

_**"I rightfully own the rights to this library." Naruto said as he walked in.

"Go away, demon child." The library owner yelled.

"Shut up, Shoseki. My daddy owned the library, and his name was Namikaze Minato. Yeah, that is right. My dad was the Yondaime Hokage, so go and shut up. I have a letter signed by the acting Hokage that what I have said is true. Here ya go. If you don't believe me, go ask Sarutobi-jiji yourself. Now, let me check out all of the books on the Ninja Arts." Naruto said.

"Um... Okay, Naruto-kun. Just checking if you knew about that. I never did hate you. I just wanted you to become stronger against killing intent. I was a ninja at one period in time, and KI is one of the worst things you can experience. Seeing images of your own greusome death in front of your eyes, it is horrible. Go ahead and take all of the books you want." Shoseki said.

"Oh, cool. Can you use Killing Intent anymore? If you can, can you teach me?" Naruto asked, while taking all of the books currently checked in that have to do with the Ninja Arts.

"Yes, I can still use KI, but I won't teach you until you attend the academy." He responded.

"Awww, please? I am going to be taught about the Ninja Arts by Inu-san!" Naruto pleaded his case.

"You mean THE Inu-san? Like, has a porcelian dog mask Inu-san." He asked, eyes wide.

"Yes. He is freaking awesome." Naruto said.

"Yeah, he is freaking awesome. He is an ANBU captain. You are going to be in hell for the next how-ever-long it is that he is training you. Also, I guess it wouldn't hurt to teach you how to use KI. Just focus all of your desire to kill on one object, or release it outwardly in a random fashion." Shoseki instructed.

Naruto just focused all of the hate for the villagers, like when they gave him a fro in his sleep, outwardly. Shoseki started shuddering because of the massive amount of KI. He saw Orochimaru appear in front of him, and punch him in the stomach, causing him to keel over, then appearing behind him, and pulling his pants down. You can guess what happened after that... He yelled out, and Naruto lost his concentration.

"What happened, Shoseki-dono?" Naruto asked, concerned.

"N-nothing h-happened, N-Naruto-kun." Shoseki answered with a horrified voice.

"I guess I am going to go home now. See ya later, Shoseki-dono." Naruto said.

_**Scene Change, Naruto's House

* * *

**_"So, I channel my chakra into the paper to find out my elemental affinity. I guess I can try it." Naruto said, thinking it would be awesomely cool. He channeled the chakra into the paper, and it sliced itself in half. It wasn't done, though, as the top of one half was burnt, and the bottom of it got moist; the top of the other half crumpled up, and the bottom of it turned to dust.  
"Wait... that means I have an affinity to all of the elements. What the..." Naruto started.

"Hell?" Kakashi finished for him.

"Holy shit! When did you get here?" Naruto yelled, pointing his finger at him.

"I was here the entire time. You are the number one most unpredictable person in the entire village. It seems you are 75 percent Uchiha. Your mother was half Uchiha, which is a surprise as she was from the Land of Waves; and your father was also half Uchiha. You are going to be moving in with the Uchiha. Get packed." Kakashi said.

At first Naruto was flabbergasted, but then it hit him. He was part Uchiha! He could have the Sharingan! "I am packed. I don't have anything to pack up." Naruto said, "Or more like I have everything packed in this scroll."

"Wait, you can make storage scrolls?" Kakashi asked.

"From the Hell to the Yeah!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Ok. That was weird. You really are the Number One Most Unpredictable person in the village. Storage Scrolls are WAY beyond your age group." Kakashi said.

"Alright, lets go to the Uchiha complex. Can I see what is behind your mask, Inu-ANBU-san?" Naruto asked.

"Nope, the identity behind the mask is a secret. If you really want to know, you would have to become an ANBU black ops." Kakashi explained, grinning behind the mask.

"Or maybe I will memorize your voice, and if I see you at a later time without the mask on and hear your voice, I will recognize you." Naruto voiced his theory.

"Go ahead and try, pibsqueak." Kakashi taunted, but then heard Naruto's footsteps stop.

In a low, demonic, deep voice, Naruto said slowly, "Don't. Ever. Call. Me. A. Pibsqueak," Before continuing walking.

Kakashi froze from the KI, but when he finally regained his voice, he said weakly, "Ok. Never again will I say the 'p word.' "

"Is this the place?" Naruto asked, amazed at the size of it.

"Yeah. This is the Great Uchiha Complex. That uchiwa(fan) on the gates is the Family Crest. C'mon, lets meet your cousin, Sasuke, and your other cousin, Itachi." Kakashi urged him on.

"Oh, is that Naruto-sama?" A random Uchiha yelled out as Naruto walked past him.

_"Naruto-sama? Since when am I sama to ANYONE?"_ Naruto thought.

"It is Naruto-sama! Praise Kami-sama, Naruto-sama has joined us! Tell Fugaku-sama at once!" Another Uchiha yelled out.

"Stop calling me sama! I am just a four year old. I may be holding _her _back, but that is no reason to call me sama," Naruto yelled out, causing Kakashi to choke for two reasons. One, Naruto knew about the Kyuubi; and two, he called the Kyuubi a she.

"Umm, Naruto, the Kyuubi is a he." Kakashi deadpanned.

"Nah, Toumoku is a female, and one of the two other beings in my mind has a crush on her." Naruto whispered to Kakashi.

_"Naruto. Your training is quintupled for saying that outloud." _Al said.

_"Damnit." _Naruto groaned.

"What is wrong, Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Training quintupled. Training bad as it is. Quintuple equals dead tired Naruto. Please don't tell me your training is deadly, because I will die from exhaustion if it is. I have my own training, and if yours is exhaustive, I WILL die." Naruto said.

"Oh, please. The melodrama is killing me. It can't be that bad." Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"Right. Think what you want Inu-san. 600 pounds on each leg, and 300 on each arm and the waist PLUS a level 30 gravity seal isn't bad." Naruto explained, "That will be 3000 on each leg, 1500 on each arm and the waist PLUS level 150 gravity seal. Go ahead and laugh at me now, I dare you. Remember the Goukakyu I did earlier? I can use that on you." Naruto threatened.

"Why the Hell are you using that much weight? I only use half of what you are using right now. Including the gravity seal. Your current masters must be masochists." Kakashi said, wondering just WHO the Hell would put that much on a four year old.

"No, but they are Sadists." Naruto said.

_"Make that Sextupled." _Ed said.

_"Oh Kami." _Naruto groaned yet again.

"What now?" Kakashi asked.

"They upped it. Not quintupled anymore, sextupled." Naruto just complained.

They just continued walking through the complex, until they found the Head Building.

"Welcome Naruto-kun, Inu-san." Fugaku greeted them.

Naruto gulped at the appearance of his half-uncle.

* * *

This chapter was slightly shorter than the first, but that is because I was cut short on time. Hope you liked it. Please press the light blue button and leave a review. Or else.


	3. Chapter 3

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"__Blah__"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon think.

**"****Blah****"**-Deity talk.

_**"**__**Blah**__**"**_-Deity think.

* * *

I am starting this chapter at 7:24 PM Oct. 30. Peace. BTW: SEXtupled means 'times six.'

* * *

"So, Uncle Fugaku, what are you up to?" Naruto asked Fugaku, trying to start conversation to break the deathly silence.

"Hn. I... have been having problems with Sasuke-kun. He is currently not able to perform Goukakyu. It is the 'Growing Up Right' for all Uchiha. I have heard that you are capable of using the Goukakyu. I would like to see your supposed 'Goukakyu.' " Fugaku replied with a serious face.

"So, does that mean that if I perform it, I will be acknoweledged as a grown up Uchiha? That would be freaking awesome." Naruto spat out.

Fugaku just chuckled at his nephews reasoning. "Yes, that is theoreoretically true. Though, if you are unable to perform it adequately, you will be subjected to training with Itachi-kun."

Naruto just gulped at that. He had heard of Itachi's reputation. Passing the Chuunin exams at age 10, Naruto spoke determined, "I will perform the Goukakyu without flaws, Dattebayo."

"You had better, otouto. If you don't, you will be tor-I mean training with me." Itachi said, appearing out of nowhere.

"So, you are the prodigial Itachi Uchiha?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah." He replied.

"So, otou-san, when will he be tested for Uchiha-ness?" Sasuke asked, walking in from the stairs.

"And you are?" Naruto asked.

"My name is Sasuke, what is your, niisan?" Sasuke asked.(He isn't a total ass, as the Sandaime hasn't ordered Itachi to kill the Clan yet.)

"I am Naruto. Nice to meet you." Naruto replied.

"Glad to meet you too." Sasuke returned.

"Let's do this!" Naruto yelled, referring to the test.

"Yes, let us." Fugaku said.

_**Scene Change, Uchiha Lake/Pier Thingy

* * *

**_"So, Naruto-kun, start with a few simple exercises to get the chakra pumping." Fugaku instructed.

At this command, Naruto started running laps, and flowing through handsigns. At no moments notice, he started running up a tree. Fugaku and Itachi's eyes widened.

_"He can tree walk already." _they both thought.

"I'm ready!" Naruto shouted out, zapping them back to reality.

"Alright, start your demonstration, Naruto-kun." Fugaku instructed, slightly unnerved at his display of control.

Naruto flipped through the handsigns that follow: 'Snake, Ram, Monkey, Boar, Horse, and Tiger', inhaled deeply, and exhaled adding chakra to the loop in his fingers. "Katon:Goukakyuno Jutsu!" Naruto yelled, igniting the highly flammable air coming from his mouth.

Fugaku and Itachi just started sweating at the display of power that Naruto just put on. The ball of fire was perfectly controlled, and freaking huge. Itachi just knew that the kid would surpass him some day.

"Good job, Naruto-kun. You are officially an Adult Uchiha. Would you like to teach Sasuke-kun how to use the Goukakyu? I'm sure that he could advance incredibly fast under your tutelage. Do you agree?" Fugaku asked.

Naruto thought this out for a few moments, and the nodded his head an affirmative, "Sure, I think my otouto could learn leagues under me, because I am totally awesome."

"Please shut up, anaki." Sasuke asked.

"Okey-dokey, otouto. I will help you with the whole Goukakyu thing, but that is it. HELP, not giving you step by step instructions." Naruto explained.

"I don't care. Just make me stronger, so that I can be better than Itachi-anaki." Sasuke said, wanting to best his oldest brother.

"Now, now. Don't be greedy and abusive of your power, or else I won't teach you jack squat." Naruto said.

"Of course. I was just kidding with you." Sasuke played innocent.

_"The kid's full of it." _Toumoku said.

_"Of course he is. You think I didn't know that?" _Naruto replied.

_"No, I knew you did, I was just reinforcing the fact in your head." _She returned.

"Fugaku-sama! Hiashi-sama is here to see you. He has brought Hinata-chan along to play with Sasuke-sama." A random Uchiha said while jogging along.

"Alright. Let's go and meet them, Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun, Itachi-kun." Fugaku said.

"Who is this Hinata-chan that Uchiha-san spoke of?" Naruto asked.

"She is the heiress of the Hyuuga clan, and one of my best friends." Sasuke said.

"Ah, so is she our age?" Naruto asked.

"Duh." Sasuke replied.

"You want to start something?" Naruto accused.

"Yeah. You are so overbearing. I just wanna pummel that face in." Sasuke started the war of the four year olds.

"Bring it!" Naruto yelled before charging Sasuke. Of course this is just a friendly spar, but incase things got out of hand, Fugaku had some random Uchiha watch over the two. Nothing too serious could happen, right?

At that particular moment Hinata decided to anounce her presence, "Hi Sasuke-kun. Who is this?"

"This," Sasuke struggled, "Is. My. Anaki. Naruto."

"Hello, Naruto-kun." Hinata said cheerfully.

"Hi," Naruto also struggled, "Hinata. Chan."

At that moment, Naruto's shirt decided to be stupid and flap up, revealing his six pack abs. Hinata just blushed, and felt faint.

_"No. I can't pass out now. But, he is so... hot." _Hinata thought to herself.

_"You got that right, Hinata. Just look at those abs. I bet they are really hard." _Inner Hinata yelled.

_"I can guess what else would be hard..." _Hinata thought to her inner self.

_"I guess I am rubbing off on you, ya perv." _IH just said back.

"HAHA!" Hinata heard Naruto's victorious laugh. It seems Naruto has triumphed over Sasuke today.

"Shut up, anaki. You train yourself like a madman. I need to train like that. C'mon, please?" Sasuke asked, guinulinely.

"Yeah, I guess I could loan you some of my older weights." Naruto replied, staring at Hinata.

_"Wow, she is beautiful." _Naruto thought.

"Wow, you are beautiful." Naruto said aloud without noticing it, until Hinata turned 18 shades of red, making a tomato look like it was blue.

_"D-did h-he j-just c-call me b-b-beautiful?" _Hinata stuttered in her head. _"M-must n-not p-pass o-out!" _She demanded of herself.

Naruto was just silently cursing his tongue, while his conscience was laughing at him.

_"Oh Kami. The look on your face is freaking hilarious!" _Toumoku yelled.

_"Sh- Please be quiet, Tou-chan." _Naruto caught himself from saying 'shut up.'

"Yeah, and you are hot." Hinata just said, without any knowledge of her tongue even being there. When she saw Naruto's face go blank, she realised that that was spoken out-loud. In one swiift movement, she passed out, but Naruto caught her before she hit the floor.

"Ah, young love." The random Uchiha said from the sidelines.

"Shut up." Sasuke said, throwing a pencil at him. Wait, where the fuck did that pencil come from? Anyway.

_**Two Hours Later!

* * *

**_"Oi, Hinata-chan, wake the flip up!" Sasuke yelled.

"Shut it, otouto, she needs her sleep." Naruto and Itachi both said at the same time.

"Weird, we both said that at the same time." They did it again.

"Shut up!" "Copycat!" "Oogamafraga!" These were just some of the things that they yelled at the same time.

"Crackhead." Naruto said, finishing it.

"So, what is this?" Hiashi asked when he entered.

"I am Naruto Uzumaki Uchiha, and your daughter is pretty." Naruto intoduced himself.

"Really, now. What makes you think that you are worthy of her?" Hiashi asked, already knowing he was, as he and Naruto's dad were best friends.

"Well, one, I am already considered an Uchiha Adult as I can perform Goukakyu; two, I am the Yondaime's son; and three, you are really nice." Naruto tried to suck up on the last part, "Oh, and I will protect her until my dieing breath. Dattebayo."

"Approved if she approved you. I have to go, though. I will be seeing you later, Naruto, as I am one of your future tutors." Hiashi ended the chat. He picked Hinata up, and dashed off towards the Hyuuga Complex.

"Naru-kun." Hinata murmered in her sleep.

"Hm, You have a long life ahead of you, Hinata-chan. Naruto is just the person to be your soulmate, and it seems that I won the bet with Minato-kun. Sucker." Hiashi whispered.

* * *

I know you all hate me for the cliffy, but I have to add them to each chapter. I told one person that this chappy was a fast foreward to the Academy, but it seems I lied. Press the bluish button at the bottom left of your internet browser, type a review, and submit it. Good day. My shortest chapter for this story yet. It is basically a filler chapter.

-Namikaze Minato


	4. Chapter 4

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"__Blah__"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon think.

**"****Blah****"**-Deity talk.

_**"**__**Blah**__**"**_-Deity think.

* * *

**Rubius**, who the hell is Rose?

**Terrorpain**, Sextupled is 'times six.'

**Dragonman**, Thanks for teh praise.

**Sakina-chan**, Read my other story, and you will find what will happen if you don't review.

* * *

This chapter is a fastforeward to the Academy. They are six, and just entering the Academy. We all know Naruto will be a badass with two years of being taught by many of the best. I am updating fairly quickly now adays, even with the hell that is school. In other news, my mother is a donky fucking bitch. I can't go and do ANY SHIT on Halloween, today when I write this, and I have to be at my school at Six o'clock in the Goddamn morning to go and do fucking Region Band in percussion. I will be there until SIX FUCKING o'clock AT NIGHT! As one of my best friends, who lives in Florida would say, "FUCKING DILDO!"- _Tyler Griffis. _Now that that rant is over, the story shall begin.  
_

* * *

_"Class, settle down." Iruka said, before sighing. They weren't shutting up, except for the kid with the Duck Ass haircut, the Blonde kid in the awesome clothes, and the Lavender haired girl that was leaning her head on the Blondies sholder. _"Must I resort to this? Yep. Damn." _Iruka thought. He started handsigns, but stopped when a kunai was flying towards his face from the Blondie.

"Yo, you shouldn't use jutsu to get a bunch of six year olds attention. Just tell me to get 'em to shut up. Sasuke, Hinata, and I can get 'em to shut up faster that the 'Demon Head Jutsu' can, trust me." Naruto said.

_"There is no way he should be able to tell that I was about to use a jutse, and definately not a specific jutsu, not at this age." _Iruka pondered, "Okay, then get them to be quiet."

Naruto just grinned, as did his brother and girlfriend. All of a sudden, the entire class thought they were going to die.

_"What is this feeling? I feel like... I need to die to escape it. If only mom and dad would let me have kunai." _Was the collective thoughts of the class.

_"How the hell can they use KI at such a young age, and to this extent. Naruto's is self explanatory, as he holds the Kyuubi. But, the Uchiha and Hyuuga heirs? Impossible. Unless... were they pre trained?" _Iruka wondered.

"There, now they are quiet, and you can teach. So, class, what have you learned already?" Sasuke spoke.

One boy raised his hand, and asked, "To pay attention to the teacher, and not to tick you guys off?"

"Good. Now, Iruka-sensei has something to say, particulararily at Naruto-kun, Sasuke-san, and I." Hinata commended him.

"How are you able to use KI? I can guess for Naruto, but you two?" Iruka asked.

"We do not wish to tell you that at this time. If you have any problems, go and ask the old man, but otherwise, don't ask questions about us and our background." Naruto answered for the group.

"And who is 'the old man,' exactly?" Iruka asked, confused.

"Who the dobe meant was, Hokage-sama." Sasuke answered.

"Shut is, teme-otouto." Naruto shot back with his own verbal jab.

"Both of you stop it now, before you further scare the rest of the kids, and possibly blow up the building." Hinata stood between them.

"So, you call Hokage-sama, 'old man?' " Iruka asked, nervous at Naruto's lack of respect for the Hokage.

"Yeah, my jiji is just that, OLD!" Naruto yelled the last part.

"Well. That was interesting, but now that we have wasted part of our life, lets get moving. We are having a pop quiz to see what you already know on the Ninja Arts and World." Iruka explained, before tests popped into existance before the children. Naruto chuckled at the weak genjutsu.

"You will more than likely not get higher that a 60, and if you do, you are freaking smart. Begin." Iruka said.

Naruto, Hinata, and Sasuke looked at the test, and almost snorted aloud, _"THIS is what they call a test that most would only get a 60 on? That is sad." _

Naruto just pulled out his pencil, and started writing.(Written stuff is both _itaclicised _and underlined. _Like so.)_ _"What was the founder of Konoha's last name? Duh, Senju and Uchiha. The Yondaime's full name, and nickname. Kami, if I dodn't know my own dad's name, I would be ashamed; Minato Namikaze, and Konoha's Yellow Flash." _Naruto answered all of the questions in a simalar fasion.

Hinata and Sasuke were thinking along the same lines. _"This is kiddy stuff. We are kids, but still. This is easier that taking a breath." _It was actually quite hard for any of the trio to take breaths, because of the resistance seals placed on them by Naruto.

_FLASHBACK, START!

* * *

_

"Oi, Hinata-chan, teme-otouto, come here. I want to put a new kind of seal on us." Naruto yelled.

_They just groaned, "How many seals are you gonna put on us?"_

_"As many as it takes for us to be the best ever." Naruto said cheerfully._

_"Ass." Sasuke said._

_"Prickless Prick." Naruto commented back, "Let us get started. Sasuke, take the shirt off, and get ready for some laboured breathing, for the rest of your life." Naruto commanded._

_Sasuke just gulped, but did as he was told. Naruto took his bamboo calligraphy brush and started drawing kanji over Sasuke's heart, lungs, and major muscles. He performed about fifteen handsigns, and slammed them into Sasuke's stomach._

_"Did you have to slam them that hard?" Sasuke asked, wheezing for two reasons;one, the seals; and two, the wind had been knocked out of him._

_"No, but would you have rather me used alchemy to make the seal instead?" Naruto asked. Yes he has told them about alchemy, and has even started teaching them it._

_"NONONONONONONONONO!" Sasuke screamed like a little girl._

_"Okay, that's what I thought. Hinata, please take off the jacket, and shirt, but not the bra, we don't want a repeat of last time." Naruto said, blushing._

_Flashback inside a flashback, start

* * *

_

_"Hinata, please take off the jacket, shirt, and bra." Naruto commanded. She did, and both Naruto and Sasuke passed out from blood loss. She used this chance to see who's was longer, Naruto's or Sasuke's. I think you know what the thing is. Naruto's was longer, being seven inches, while Sasuke's was six. She used Byakugan, of course._

_Flashback inside a flachback, KAI!

* * *

_

_Hinata started blushing, too, because of how long Naruto's was then, so it must be longer now. She did as told, but just flashed Naruto a little bit. Naruto got a tent in his pants, and he WAS longer than before. "He is going to be a giant by the time we are fourteen. And, I intend to ride him for three days straight at that point, if not before." Hinata thought._

_Naruto repeated the process as he did with Sasuke, but didn't slam his hands into her stomach nearly as hard. She started gasping, and then caught her breath._

_"It is done, we have resistance seals on, and it will make training harder, but we will reap the benefits." Naruto said._

_"We had better." Sasuke said._

_Hinata was just leaning on Naruto's sholder._

_FLASHBACK, KAI!

* * *

_After five minutes, our trio of heroes were finished with the test, and put their heads down on the desks. Iruka saw this, and misinterpreted it, thinking they were lazy.

"You three, in the back. Get back to work." Iruka yelled.

"We are finished!" Yelled all three of them without even raising their heads.

"Bull!" A doglike boy named Kiba yelled.

"Iruka-sensei, please take our papers from us, and tell them that we are finished." Naruto said.

"Whatever. I doubt that you will even get a 60 if you are done this quickly." Iruka said. When he picked up the papers, he quickly looked over the papers, and almost dropped them. On the technical questions, they gave better solutions that the grading book did. On the history questions, they answered perfectly. On ninja applications, it was flawless.

"T-they a-are d-done. And, the work is p-p-p-p-per-perfect." Iruka stuttered.

"It was a fluke!" Kiba yelled out again.

"Piss you." Naruto yelled at him.

"Screw off!" Sasuke yelled also.

"Go give yourself a suckjob if you can, muttley." Hinata yelled. All three of them flicked him off at the same time.

Iruka just looked on in surprise. Naruto, he could understand. Sisn't he grow up in the ghetto? But, again, the heirs to the two most prestegious cland in Konoha?

"You have five more minutes, class. And, you three, great job." Iruka said, ignoring the rude comments the trio gave Kiba.

"Can we go outside and practice our kunai and shuriken? We won't throw them at anyone unless they screw with us unnessicarily." Naruto asked.

"Sure. You got your own kunai and shuriken?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah, we forged them ourself. I personally think that the dobe's kunai are the awesomeness, and Hinata's shuriken are demonic in shape and nature." Sasuke shuddered.

"Why do you say that, for both, and furthermore, how did you get the supplies needed to forge them?" Iruka asked.

"First, this it my kunai." Naruto said, holding up his kunai. It was blood red, not from blood, made of an unknown metal. It had four extra spikes protruding from each of the sides, and another four protruding from each of the sides of those four. So, the kunai had 21 spikes total, including the main one.

"This is the shuriken." Hinata motioned to the shuriken stuck in the wall. Or, in the wall seven classes down. It has made of the same metal, and had chakra residue emenating from it. It had 21 spikes on it, forming a circle, and had kanji seals all over it.

"And, for the supplies, what did we say about asking us about our background?" Sasuke finished.

Iruka was flabbergasted. Those weapons, they could tear straight through 7 walls, and get embedded 3/4 of the way into the 8th. They were barely thrown. No wonder Sasuke said they were demonic in nature.

"Y-yeah. J-just d-dont kill a-anyone." He stuttered.

There was an uproar from the rest of the class, as they wanted those freaking awesome weapons.

"Give me some of those weapons, blondie!" Kiba yelled.

"Yeah! We deserve them so much more than you!" Sakura agreed with Kiba.

"Shut up." Naruto demanded, releasing leagues of KI and chakra. They instantly shut up, and Naruto walked out of the room.

"You two just fucked up real bad." Sasuke muttered.

"The school is about to feel a big shockwave." Hinata also muttered, and they walked out of the room.

"What was that prophesy about, a 'big boo-'" Was all that Sakura got to get out, before the entire school started shaking.

"What is this, an earthquake?" Kiba yelled.

An astral projection of Hinata appeared in the class, saying, "No, this is one of Naru-kun's weaker attacks. We are currently five miles away. For future reference, don't piss Naru-kun off. The jutsu was Rasengan. Iruka-sensei, please don't tell them what Rasengan was." It then faded away. The entire classes' jaws just dropped into the ground.

**_Two hours later, with Fugaku and Hiashi.

* * *

_**"So, what was with the earthquake?" Fugaku asked.

"The class demanded some of our weapons, I walked out, and used Rasengan on a rock five miles away from the Academy." Naruto explained.

"Well, at least you kept within our 1 percent rule." Hiashi said.

* * *

Cliffies suck, don't they. Get over it. I am seriously pissed at my mom. Press the little bluish button at the bottom left of your internet browser, type a review, and submit it. Don't be a laze ass, and please actually sign in, not leave an anonymous review, Dave Montoya.


	5. Chapter 5

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"__Blah__"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon think.

**"****Blah****"**-Deity talk.

_**"**__**Blah**__**"**_-Deity think.

* * *

**XxDragonXxXSlayerxX**, I have a few issues with you.  
If I wanted you to comment on the part of the prologue of that chapter, I would have ASKED you to. But, I guess I will humor you.  
1. You say, "Who's to say that night you went to some pedophiles and he grabbed ya to 'rape' you?" That is why I carry a sword.  
2. You said, "...she also could of taken you to several stores and gas stations that hand out candy on Halloween." Did you read the reason WHY she didn't let me go? I might not have given the reason, but I will now. She claims that Halloween is 'Satanic' because of its origins. Sacrificing children and burning them OVER a THOUSAND years ago.  
3. You said, "Chapters need to be longer." I am going to keep the chapters around two to three thousand-ish words each. Generally including the pre-story part, unfortunately.  
4. This is the one that really pisses me off, "You need to work on your grammar a bit." Give me five examples in the last chapter where there was improper grammar, not including incorrect uses of semicolons. By the way, Japanese has no difference between plurals and singulars. So I could say, "Naruto threw the kunai(singular)," or I could say "Naruto threw the kunai(plural, as in kunais.)"  
5. In your profile, it makes you seem like a hypocrite, "Things I truly hate:.... My mother." Stop being a damn hypocrite. I have reasons, and I am sure you do also. I truly hate my father, with a pure, unbridled hate that surpasses all other forms of hate.  
6. If you are going to correct people, actually write stories, so that we can judge you fairly. You judging people without actually creating a fic that we can judge just seems unfair.

**The Fifth Rider Of Armageddon**, I was a bit rushed when I wrote the last chapter, but thank you for not being a jackass and basically saying it sucks, UNLIKE some other people.

**Dragon Man 180**, Sasuke will more than likely stay non-emo-broody-asshole. I just don't like people being broody shits. :)

**Yash3055**, Where the hell did you get the idea that it was SasuHina? From Hinata calling Sasuke, "Sasuke-kun," if so, Hinata calls everyone that. Or -san. But, since they are basically brother and sister, I have her saying -kun.

**TerrorPain**, If you read the first chapter, you would see that Inmetsu is a combination of all seven of the Homunculi, so techinically yes, all 7 of them have already appeared.

**GraityTheWizard**, Thanks for the continuing support on both this story and Naruto, Friend of Many. If so for the suggestion, would you have any particular pirls in mind? Also, would you like to be my beta for this story? I am going to send you a connection request for DocX.

Now that that is out of the way, on to the story.

* * *

"Stupid Inu-san. I fucking hate his tor- I mean training. I am going to find out JUST who the hell is behind that mask. 400,000 push ups. I am six, for Kami's sake. Mmm, sake sounds good. Bad Naruto, BAD!" Naruto grumbled.

"Ya know, sake does sound pretty good right now. You wanna jack some of dad's?" Sasuke replied.

"Yeah, Naru-kun. Let's just NOT play strip poker afterwards this time." Hinata said, blushing at the last part.

Naruto also started blushing, but Sasuke was just smirking. "Okay, I will make a shadow clone while I am holding the bottle, so that it copies the bottle, too. Good thing we all are Jinchuriki, so we can't get TOO drunk." Naruto said.

"Yeah, shocking to find out that we all had demons sealed into us by Minato-sama, isn't it. It is also shocking to know that the demons can change between our three minds seamlessly." Hinata replied. It seems that the Yondaime actually sealed the Kyuubi into Hinata, the Juubi (Ten Tailed) into Sasuke, and the Irebunbi (Eleven Tailed) into Naruto. The demons are also able to change whos mind they are in instantly, allowing help to one or another if they needed it because of the seals all being made at the exact same time by the same person.

"Yeah. I will name this operation, 'Operation SCSS' for 'Shadow Clone Stealing Sake.' " Naruto said.

"Alright. Op. SCSS into action, NOW!" Sasuke forcefully whispered.

"We are meeting up at the abandoned hut three miles into the woods. Move." Naruto ordered, going into mission commander mode.

"Sir." The other two responded, leaping away swiftly.

Naruto walked into the Main House of the Uchiha complex, being careful not to wake Mikoto with noise. That was when he saw Fugaku. He was sitting at the table, drinking tea peacefully. _"Shit. Irebunbi-dono, please give me your abilities of advanced illusions for a minute." _Naruto pleaded.

_"Fine, but don't screw this one up." _He replied.

_"Don't worry. Ill be fine."_ Naruto responded, feeling alive with the Genjutsu creating chakra. Naruto flipped through three handsigns, Rat, Monkey, and Dragon. He then whispered, "Genjutsu:Irebunbi:Illusion of Reality." The area around Fugaku seamlessy melded into the Genjutsu, causing him to not hear or see anything outside of the Genjutsu boundaries. Naruto snuck over to the fridge, and grabbed the bottle of sake. He put his fingers into a cross formation, and several more Naruto appeared. The original Naruto took all of the sake bottles from them and sealed them into a scroll. He then dispelled the clones, put the sake bottle back, and took off to the forest. Once he was about a mile away from the Complex, he released the Genjutsu.

Once he arrived at the shack, he pulled out the scroll, seeing Hinata and Sasuke already there.

"Alright, guy and girlfriend, I got the sake. Let us drink it no... Shit. I forgot the sake dishes," Naruto slapped his forehead at his stupidity, "Never mind. I can just make three shadow clones Henge into sake dishes."

Hinata just giggled, and Sasuke drooped his head to sigh, "Anaki, you really are an idiot."

Hinata took slight offense to that, and started fingering her shuriken pouch.(Not fingering it in a perverted way, you pervs.) This made Sasuke flinch. Naruto poured the sake, and handed out the dishes. "One moment. I am going to convert this scroll into a storage and refridgeration hybrid scroll." Naruto tinkered with it for a minute, until he had it. "I will now convert this other scroll into a butane burner scroll(1)." Naruto drew the kanji nessecary for it, until it lit.

They sat in relative silence until Hinata broke it, "I can't believe that we are SO far ahead of the rest of the class. It is like they didn't even study at ALL before enrolling in the Academy. Except for that Sakura girl, but still, she is a minority."

"Yeah. I can kick all of them to Wind and back in taijutsu." Sasuke smirked.

"They are screwed if they fight me in a Ninjutsu contest." Naruto yawned lazily.

"I can have a kunai to their throat in less time than it takes for Sarutobi-sensei to put that book of his away if they get caught in one of my Genjutsu." Hinata said, confidently.

"Book smarts are all three of our fortes." Sasuke said.

"Street smarts, survival, and experience are Naru-kun's." Hinata praised him.

"Cunning, speed, and being beautiful are Hina-chan's alone." Naruto sent Hinata along blushing.

"Strategy, ruthlessness and torture are mine." Sasuke finished.

"Who wants to play strip poker?" Hinata asked.

"..." Was what came from Naruto.

"..." This was what Sasuke (didn't) say.

"C'mon." Hinata begged.

"Nope." Naruto replied.

"Count me out." Sasuke agreed.

"Yes, please." Jirayia said from the background.

"Perverted bastard, take this, 'Fuuton:Diatoppa(Great Breakthrough).' " Naruto screamed at him.

"This too, 'Katon:Karyu Endan(Fire Dragon Flame Missle).' " Sasuke grunted.

"Asshole. 'Suiton:Diabakufu(Grand Waterfall).' " Hinata yelled.

"Shit." Jiraiya muttered, before being singed by the combined efforts of Diatoppa and Karyu Endan, and doused by Diabakufu. He was sent flying all the way to the hospital, where he was beaten even more by the nurses, before being treated.

"Stupid dipshit. And, the answer to strip poker is still no." Naruto said.

"Agreed on both accounts." Sasuke agreed.

"Aww, why not." Hinata pleaded.

"You remember what happened last time, ero-girlfriend." Naruto sighed at the last part.

"Yeah. I am definately NOT going to play. Nope. Not gonna happen. Anyway, we need to read more from the Forbidden Scroll." Sasuke marshalled them to the scroll that was inside another scroll.

"Let's see. Kageton(Shadow Release):Buraindo Mokushi(Blind Sight). It makes a pitch black cloud that only the user can see through. Gotta use this on Inu-san." Naruto read, adding in the last sentence.

"Hell yeah. I hate it when he sneaks up on us, so we can use it on him, so he can't." Sasuke nodded his head.

"Agreed. We will learn this one now. And, next, Kageton:Bouchou Kassha(Hearing Block) to eliminate one of the ways for them to target us while in the smoke." Hinata finished.

"It says to think of an absolute void with nothing but you in it, and exhale. You should send out a black fog that suspends your opponents sight." Naruto explained. When Naruto did this, Hinata and Sasuke thought the fog was emmiting darkness. They both activated their Doujutsu, and looked at the fog. It shocked them what they saw. It actually was giving off darkness, causing nothing but pure blindness.

They both tried the jutsu for themselves, and got the same result.

"Oi, Naruto, Hinata, come to the center of our converging jutsu clouds." Sasuke asked.

"Alright." Naruto said, looking for it.

"Gotcha." Hinata replied, also looking for it.

They walked for a moment, and bumped into each other, and fell down laughing.

"I think that we can only hear each other because of the Bijuu. Inu-san has done nothing since we activated the jutsu. I have a feeling that we altered the jutsu on accident so that it combined the two jutsu we were going to learn." Hinata explained her reasoning. To further it, she yelled out, "INU-SAN!!!!" As loud as she could. Kakashi did nothing.

"Yep, it seems that Hina-chan was right." Naruto confirmed.

"Alright, let's dispell it now." Naruto commanded. At his order, the three fog clouds dissapeared completely.

"Oi, Inu-san, we gotta get home now, and I think you do, too. Say nothing about what you just saw, as usual." Naruto said, before giving Hinata a hug and kiss on the cheek. Naruto and Sasuke walked in the direction of their home, while Hinata walked towards her house.

_**The Next Day, at the Academy

* * *

**_"Oi, Muttley, how are you doing? Got over the fleas that Shino-san put on you?" Naruto yelled as he walked in.

"Can it, Naruto." Kiba bit back.

"No need to be so feisty, Kiba. I was just messing around with you." Naruto said.

"Class, we will be taking the preliminaries for the Genin Exams. If you get a perfect score on everything in the test, you will be immediately promoted to Genin." Iruka said, getting everyone's attention.

"I'm gonna ace this test." Naruto said.

"Me too." Hinata agreed.

"As will I." Sasuke jibed.

"Okay. First, here is the written test." Iruka said, passing it out. The class other than Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, and Sakura groaned.

Five minutes later, the four that didn't groan were finished.

"Good job, Naruto, Hinata, Sasuke, and Sakura. Follow me for the taijutsu test." Iruka instructed.

Of course, Naruto, Hinata, and Sasuke passed it perfectly.

"I am sure you three will perfect the other two tests, so I won't eve bother. Here are your hitai-ate." Iruka praised them.

"Cool." They all said.

* * *

Click the little bluish button at the bottom left of your internet browser, type up a review, and click 'submit.' Ja Ne, Namikaze Minato.


	6. Chapter 6

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"__Blah__"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon think.

**"****Blah****"**-Deity talk.

_**"**__**Blah**__**"**_-Deity think.

/Blah/ Silent Message.

* * *

**Dragonman 180**, It is MY fanfiction, so I can do whatever I want with it. I could make Naruto a flying monkey that has no dick, but I choose not to. Hinata was born on the exact same day as Naruto was, as was Sasuke. Naruto was just born first.

**Chaosmaster189**, Hebi-teme going after Sasuke has yet to be decided, but he will most likely. Or Naruto. I'll let you guys vote at the end of this chapter. And vote on the Harem or not... and the girls in said harem.

**Vash3055**, Read the chapter before this one to get your answer. And actually read it, please.

**naruto master of the jutsu's**, so, is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment. You said the ONLY reason, so that leads me to believe you think my story sucks. And, yes I would like to join the Anti-Flamers legion. Goddamn flamers.

**LITTLE ALAXANDER UZUMAKI**, I am glad you like the story.

**Shodaime Aisukage**, And what rules are the ones you spoke of? I do put humor in, but we both have a different sense of humor. Mine is... unrefined, crude, and sick. For example, I was in the car with my mom the other day, and she sad, "I think it is raccoon mating season, because I see them dead all over the roads." I replied with a, "What do raccoons mate with then, car tires." Funny, I know. I read that story too.

**TerrorPain**, Of course I will have people going after the stone.

**Brooklyn Maxwell**, Thanks.

**Graity**, Thanks as always. Do you mind being my beta? I really like teh ideas you give me, so I wuold like you to be my beta.

Time to start the story.

* * *

"Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata. Go to the roof of the building to meet your sensei. If he is about three hours late, don't worry, he is always like that." Iruka instructed the next day.

"So what, did they fail? Are they dropping out and need tutoring?" Some random academy student yelled out.

"No, moron, we passed. Perfectly. We get to be genin WAY before you crackers." Naruto shot back.

"Yeah, and we beat the record for youngest gennin. My brother was the youngest at seven, but we beat the prick at six." Sasuke boasted.

"Sasuke-kun, don't be so mean about it. We all know he could kick our (the class just hears a 'bleep' courtesy of Iruka's Censor no Jutsu) Asses any day. Naru-kun, Sasuke-kun, lets go to the roof." Hinata scolded Sasuke, who looked downtrodden.

"So, Iruka-sensei said this guy has a habit of being hours late. Im going to get some sleep. One hour of sleep is bad for the mind." Naruto said, before laying down. Right before going to sleep, he made a chakra web, so that if any chakra other than Hinata's or Sasuke's entered it, he would wake up immediately.

Hinata did something of the same variety, except it would parylize them, instead of waking the user.

Sasuke just laid down next to the other two.

_**Three Hours Later.

* * *

**_Naruto woke up as something entered his chakra web, and made a loud thump from being parylized. He woke Sasuke and Hinata up using a small jolt of chakra to the two, using a pattern that told them to pretend to be asleep. Hinata let her chakra web go, and the invading person slowly got up. It was the porn reading Kakashi. He slowly and cautiously walked over to the three of them, and stared at them intently.

_"I wonder. What would happen if I woke them up?" _Kakashi thought, but never got to reap the results of his plan.

Naruto jumped up, slamming his hands into Kakashi's cloths, causing them to turn bright pink. Naruto stuck his finger out at him and started laughing. Sasuke and Hinata cracked open their eyes, and saw what Naruto had done. They tried to hold in their laughter, but failed horribly.

"My first thought of you... I hate you." Kakashi said.

"Inu-san. I finally found out who you were." Naruto accused.

_"Fuck." _Kakashi thought and started sweating.

"So, you must be our Jounin-sensei. I guess you will be teaching us more of what you already have. More turning water to gas for Hinata. Creating fire from nothing for me. All kinds of shit for Naruto." Sasuke guessed.

"Yeah. I don't need to give you any of the post-academy tests. I know you can track like bitches, work in a team like hell, and fight one on one like no tomorrow." Kakashi commented.

"Like hell we can." Naruto slipped out.

"Let's just go and get a mission or three hundred." Sasuke commented.

"Or more." Naruto added.

"Yeah. We'll just make about three hundred Shadow Clones each, and and Naru-kun will make an extra hundred. The extra hundred will Henge into you, Kakashi-sensei. We'll get 301 missions from the Hokage, and assign the shadow clone teams to do three hundred of the missions, while we do one of the missions." Hinata finished.

"Sure. We will be breaking more than one record today." Kakashi said.

"Alright! Let's go!" Naruto yelled.

The quad walked off towards the Hokage Tower. As they walked by a fruit stand, someone threw an apple at Naruto. Before it got an inch away from the villager's hand, four kunai intercepted it. One from each of the team members. The villager started sweating, and ran away.

"Dumbass." Hinata spat.

"Mother fucking donkey dick." Sasuke insulted the villager, making the others wonder what he was smoking.

"So, Sasuke, what are YOU smoking?" Naruto voiced his question.

"Nothing..." Sasuke slowly said, putting something inside his jacket.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What is with the silence?" Sasuke asked.

"..."

"..."

"...Otouto, I didn't know you were a crack-head." Naruto finally said.

"Not crack, pot." Sasuke said, triumphantly.

Naruto, Hinata, and Kakashi just facefaulted. "You have got to be kidding me, right, Sasuke." All three of them said.

"Yeah. I don't like drugs. I do have this strange feeling that Mizuki will try to betray Konoha in six years, though." Sasuke predicted the future.

"Sure he will, Sasuke. Whatever you say." Kakashi drew it out.

"I'm not crazy damnit! I was just making some shit up." Sasuke retorted.

"We're here." Naruto interrupted them. The three of them looked up at the building, and smirked. Three hundred one missions. Of course d-ranked, but still. That is 200 ryo for every mission. 62000 ryo for each of them.

"So, sensei, did you quit ANBU just to train us?" Hinata asked.

"Hell no. I am still an ANBU captain. We will be rapidly progressing you to ANBU status. Kami, you thought I quit ANBU? What are you on?" Kakashi asked.

"Naru-kun." Hinata replied.

Naruto's face just turned beet red, wondering if Hinata thought about the question and her answer. She was _on_ him. Wow.

"Nice one, Hinata. Go and be perverted in the public." Sasuke teased as they walked past the receptionist.

"Oi, Jiji, we need 301 d-ranked missions. We will have them completed in an hour." Naruto yelled as they walked into the office.

"Impossible. There is no way you can complete 301 missions in an hour. The record for an hour is 23, with your father's gennin team." Sarutobi shot their dreams down, or so he thought. Team Seven, minus Kakashi, just held their hands up in a cross formation. Sarutobi's eyes widened.

"Naruto. Did you teach them Kage Bunshin?" Sarutobi demanded.

"Hell no. They learned it on their own. You would think that..." Naruto projected a Silencing Jutsu, creating a silver sheen on the walls, "...The Hokage would know about their tailed beasts. Hinata and Sasuke have the Kyuubi and Juubi sealed in them respectively." Naruto informed the Hokage.

"Well then what about you?" Sarutobi asked.

"I got the Irebunbi sealed in me. By the way, Kyuubi is a female, and proud of it. Don't be reading those books near Hinata, Sasuke, or me. We can let her out for a short amount of time. Or, I could just alchemize the book into dust like this." Naruto replied. He popped his hands together, and touched the orange book. It turned to dust, and Sarutobi started crying anime tears.

"DAMN YOU EDWARD ELRIC!!!!!" He shouted at the silver lining on the walls. "Damn you. Take the missions and leave me." Sarutobi said, calling his secretary to give them all 301 of the days missions.

The quad walked outside, and used the trio of six year old's hands to make one giant handsign. They shouted out, "Compound Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu" There became three hundred clones of each of them. Naruto simply placed his hands into a cross seal, and whispered into the wind, "Shadow Clone." One hundred Naruto appeared, and instantle Henged into one hundred Kakashi while the smoke remained.

"Group up into teams. One of each of you to a team. Three hundred teams. Start." Naruto yelled at them.

"Hai!" They yelled back, before starting this task. Five minutes later, they were all grouped together into the teams, and started walking foreward to accept their missions.

"Go out, and if any of the missions are of the repairing variety, use alchemy." Hinata shouted out to them.

"Ma'am!" They shouted back.

The first team of clones had to fix a house. They gathered all of the supplies needed, which were: wood, bricks, and a shit load of dirt. They walked over to the house, and emptied all of the supplies into the middle of the floor. All four of them clapped their hands together at the same time, and hit them into the floor. The supplies started changing shape and composition. They raced up the walls to create the roof. The crawled over to spots where walls and floor was missing, and filled the places in.

"Mission one, complete." The Naruto clone stated, and they ran to the Hokage's office.

"Hey, Jiji, we finished the first mission. Don't give us the pay. Give it to the bosses when they come here later." The Sasuke clone said, before they all pulled out their kunai, and stabbed themselves in the stomach. They poofed out of existance.

_"They might actually make it. Five minutes after, and they already have one done." _Sarutobi thought.

With the real Team Seven, they were chasing a cat with a red ribbon on it's right ear.

"Pheonix, Raven, Fox, state your positions." Kakashi barked over the radio.

"Pheonix, checkpoint C out of C." Naruto replied.

"Raven, checkpoint C out of C." Sasuke agreed.

"Fox, checkpoint C out of C, also." Hinata finished.

"Good. I, Dog, will be joining you in a few moments. Right... Now." Kakashi said, before landing in their presence. Starting to use Silent Message (SM) he said, /Catch the target without harming it./

/Hai./ The other three said.

They darted off towards the demon cat, and dropped into its presence out of nowhere. Naruto slapped his hands into the ground, and made a cage of pure carbon around the cat.

"Target captured. Red ribbon on right ear, check. Target is Tora the Cat." Naruto confirmed over the radio.

"Good. Let's go and return to the Hokage. How many of the missions have been completed?" Kakashi replied.

"This is the last one to be completed." Hinata replied.

"Yeah, this always the longest mission when I was a gennin." Kakashi spoke without thinking.

"Sensei, the cat is part demon. There is no way on the Natural Earth that a cat can live over twenty years." Naruto said.

"You are probably right, but we must confirm that with the Hokage." Kakashi replied.

_**Five minutes later with the Hokage and the Daimyo's Wife

* * *

**_"Jiji, that cat is part demon." Naruto said as soon as they entered the doors.

"What makes you think that, Naru-kun?" Sarutobi asked nervously.

"The cat has been used for a d-ranked mission for about fifty years. I did research with Shadow Clones. I had them go to the library. There was a journal, and it was from fourty eight years ago. It said, word for word, 'I had to chase that damn cat again. Tora. Red ribbon from hell on its right ear. Well, got to go,' The cat has been alive for over fourty eight years. It IS part demon." Naruto explained.

"You are exactly right. It was fifty five years ago, when I was still a child. The Nibi-no-Nekotama snuck into the Daimyo's house and got pregnant with the Daimyo's cat. It stayed there until it gave birth, and then ran away. The Nidaime and the Daimyo of the time knew the cat would be immortal to a point, and so, they used it as a Mission. This information will never leave this room." Sarutobi explained.

**"If you ever say anything, even if you ARE the Irebunbi's contaner, I will gut you." **Tora said in a demonic voice, and then went back to grooming itself.

"You know what I say, Tora?" Naruto asked it.

"Meow." It said back.

"..." Naruto stayed silent for a minute.

**"Mortal, what do you want to say?"** Tora asked.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... MELON!!!" Naruto randomly screamed out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of everyone. Almost literally.

"Meow?" Tora tilted her head quizically.

"Melon. Good. Watermelon. Watermelon flavored ramen. YUM!" Naruto yelled.

"Let's go. Now." Sasuke and Hinata dragged Naruto off after collecting the payment for all of the missions.

"Hey, you three, Four AM at the normal training spot!" Kakashi yelled after them.

"Alright!" Sasuke yelled back.

When Naruto and Sasuke got back to the Complex, they saw smoke coming from the middle of the Uchiha District.

"NO!" They both yelled, before sprinting into the district.

* * *

HAHA! Hanger. Hate me? Whatever.

On to the polls.

1) Should there be a Harem, or just NaruHina?

A) Yes

B)No

2) If yes to question above, who should be in the Harem. (Will take three more than Hinata, adding up to Four)

A) Yuugito Nii

B) Fem!Haku

C) Sasame Fuuma

D) Sakura

E) Hana Inuzuka

Vote by pressing the little bluish button at the bottom left of your Internet Browser, type up a review with the answers to the polls, and click submit. OR ELSE!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"__Blah__"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon/Deity talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon/Deity think.

/Blah/ Silent Message.

* * *

For the Polls:

Harem

A) Yes - 17 O.O

B) No - 3

Harem is YES!

If Yes to Harem, Who?

A) Yuugito Nii(Same age as Naruto) - 11

B) Fem!Haku(Same age as Naruto) - 12

C) Sasame Fuuma - 5

D) Sakura - 3 (I don't even know why I included this flat chested bitch...)

E) Hana Inuzuka(What the hell... The same age as Naruto) - 7

The winners are: Yuugito Nii, Fem!Haku, and Hana Inuzuka. And, of course, Hinata Hyuuga.

* * *

I am going to steal Naruto from Kishimoto. He killed Kakashi, damnit. Mother fucker. GO DIE IN A FUCKING HOLE, KISHIMOTO!!!!

* * *

_"Where is otou-san? Itachi-niisan? Kaa-san? Someone!"_ Sasuke yelled in his mind.

"Sasuke, pull yourself together. Lets just find them, and we will find out what happened." Naruto souted over to Sasuke as they ran. "Pull 'em down."

"Are you sure?" Sasuke replied.

"Yeah. Only to level 2. Right now." Naruto commanded, and lowered his gravity seals at the same time he said 'Now.' They felt the gravity lower itself by about fourty eight times.

"Feels good to be able to run with less weight than a feather, don't it anaki?" Sasuke questioned.

"Yeah. Lets find our family. C'mon." Naruto ordered, and they sped off towards the center of the district.

When they got there, after a cat clinging onto Sasuke's pants and ripping them, they saw all of the clan there at the 'Tomb' of Uchiha Madara.

/Oh Kami. We forgot it was Book of Lies Burning Day. And the Anual Family Gathering in Front of the Bonfire Day. Duh./ Naruto signed to Sasuke.

Sasuke just slapped his forehead.

"Naruto, Sasuke, good for you to join us. Would you two like to take a crack at the book of lies?" Fugaku greeted them as they walked into the circle of Uchiha.

"Sure. Jus' lemme check out the seal on it first." Naruto replied, "I am sure I could break the seal, letting us ACTUALY be able to burn it." Naruto walked up to the book.

"Sure, sure. Jiraiya couldn't even crack it when he came around last, which was four years ago. But, if you want to humiliate yourself, come and try." Fugaku taunted.

"Who?" Naruto replied. He was not into the History of Important People, at least not at the moment.

"Long, white hair. Red markings on his face. Wrote the 'Icha Icha' series." Fugaku tried to spark his memory, "Peaks on women constantly."

"Oh, Ero Sennin!" Naruto yelled, remembering him. All of a sudden, an astral projection of Jiraiya's head appeared, screaming, "DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" And then, it dissapeared.

"I am going to try anyways." Naruto said, ignoring the floating head that was no more. He walked up to the book, and looked at it's backside. He saw a seal that was quite complex in design, but simple in theory. There was a Fire Resistance Seal, and a Fire Nature Seal. That made it have a resistance to fire, while cancelling out any fire jutsu that over powered the first seal. Naruto just took out his calligraphy set, and looked at the seal. He finally used some white out on the Fire Nature Seal, and changed it to a Wind Nature Seal, which would STRENGTHEN the fire jutsu aimed at it. He used some more white out on the Fire Resistance Seal, and changed it to a Water Resistance Seal.

"Oi, Sasuke, take a crack at the book with FJ Number 732." Naruto called out to him.

"Wait, Number 732? Why such a high ranked jutsu?" Sasuke asked.

"The book pissed me off." Naruto deadpanned, and gave the signal for the jutsu to commence.

"Katon:Karyu Endan!" Sasuke yelled, and the Stream of Firey Hell, as Naruto calls it, came forth from Sasuke's mouth. It turned white, and the Uchiha's eyes widened considerably. When it hit the book, it was turned to ashes, and the ashes were burnt into nothingness. Naruto smirked at the Uchiha clan, and they started to walk away.

"Sasuke, Naruto, get over here, RIGHT NOW!" Fugaku ordered them.

"Hai." They muttered. When they got over there, they saw Fugaku with two large bags of money.

"These are for you two. There was a reward for that book being burnt. They said, 'Double the reward if there is nothing left of the book, not even ashes.' I had to do this, for both of you. Now, leave me so that I can think of a way to get money back. That was nearly three quarters of the Uchiha Funds. GO AWAY!" Fugaku screamed while sobbing.

"Here you go. Our funds from three hundred one missions." They both said, handing Fugaku the money, "We will re-earn it tomorrow."

"R-really?" Fugaku looked up.

"Yeah. Simple. We will probably double the missions. Money is awesome." They responded. Fugaku responded to this by hugging both of them, and saying, "Thank you," Over and over again.

"I have to talk to Jiji, privately, about something. That means, brother, you can't come along. I am truly sorry, but I will make it up to you. I need to go." Naruto said, before shunshin'ing away, to the foot of the Hokage Tower.

"Go away. The Hokage doesn't have time for scum like you," The ANBU outside the Hokage's office said as he neared. When he walked al the way up to them, they growled, "What did we just say? The. Hokage. Does. Not. Have. Time. For. Scum. Like. You!" The ANBU yelled. Kakashi then walked in, and chopped the offending ANBU in the back of the neck, causing him to pass out.

"Go on, Naruto. I will make sure this moron will be dealt with by Anko or Ibiki." Kakashi eye-smiled at Naruto.

"Harsh. I say Anko, though. We aren't trying to get information out of him, so no need for Ibiki on this one," Naruto replied, "Make sure to give her a rusty, dull kunai."

"And you call ME harsh? Kami, we have raised another sadist." Kakashi shouted to the Heavens.

"No, if I was a sadist, I would walk in there and use Alchemy to neuter him." Naruto announced.

Kakashi subconsciously covered his nuts, and started quivering. Naruto walked into the Hokage's office, and greeted the Hokage with a, "You ass."

"Naruto-kun, what could I have possibly done to make you this angry at me?" Sarutobi asked, knowing what would come.

"Arranged marriage? With someone from Kumo? Are you going senile, old man? Kami, you are not smoking tobacco in that pipe, it is weed, isn't it?" Naruto yelled at him, tears in his eyes.

"No. It is tobacco. It technically isn't an arranged marriage, you just have to accept. It is for the CRA, The Clan Restoration Act. You are the last of the Namikaze, and the Uzumaki. You have to have a harem of at least four women. I am truly sorry, Naruto. You have accept, whether or not you like it." Sarutobi replied, almost crying.

Naruto just walked up to him, and punched him in the face, and walked out. When he finally got out of the tower, he ran off into the forest. He got to the edge of Konoha's grounds, and punched a tree. He punched it again, and again, until his knuckles were bleeding. He formed a Rasengan, and slammed it into the tree. It had its trunk near the ground desintegrated, and the top flew out of his sight, hitting the walls of Konoha. He went four-tailed, and used Four Tail Strong Ball, making a pitch black ball of pure chakra appear in front of him. He ate the ball, and started inflating like a balloon. He turned away from Konoha, and exhaled the chakra. Two hundred miles away, Orochimaru barely dogded a beam of chakra that he felt could break through his Triple Rashoman.

Naruto just continued to beat the shit out of the surrounding area, until he had no more strength. He passed out there, and was found by the Hokage an hour later. Sarutobi brought him to his room, and dropped him unceremoniously(SP?) onto his bed.

The next morning, Naruto woke up in his bed, and wondered how he got there. He shrugged it off, and walked into the bathroom. He turned the hot water in the shower all the way up. He stepped in and felt the stinging of near boiling water and his skin, but ignored it. When he was done showering, he exited the shower, and dryed off. He got dressed, and started playing some darts with himself.

Sasuke walked in, and asked, "Where did you go last night?"

"To talk to Sarutobi. He pissed me off. I am in an arranged marriage with someone from _Kumo_." Naruto growled out the last part.

"Ouch. Hinata isn't going to be too happy with this," Sasuke cringed.

"No way in hell am I going to survive telling her this," Naruto shuddered.

"You are so screwed. Better hope Hinata is bi, or something." Sasuke joked.

"Kami, I hope so in this situation." Naruto returned.

UP IN HEAVEN

* * *

**"Maybe I should grant his hopes?"** Kami asked her husband, Shinigami.

**"Yeah. The more fun, the better." **Shinigami replied, getting smacked by Kami.

**"Ero-teme."** She pouted.

**"Jus' being me. Remember to have his other future fiancee's to be bi, also."** Shinigami added.

**"Whatever."** Kami said, lazily.

BACK WITH NARUTO AND SASUKE

* * *

"Why do I have this feeling that she is bi now?" Sasuke asked the air.

"I don't know, but I have the same kind of feeling. Let's go to the meeting place for the team." Naruto replied. They started walking, and it turned into a full blown race, with Naruto just slightly in the lead.

"Bring it, mother fucker!" Sasuke yelled.

"It is already brought, you cocksucker!" Naruto yelled back.

"Assmunch!"

"Little Brother!"

"Dick."

"At least I have one!"

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't have one, duh!"

"Boys, stop arguing!" Kakashi punched them in the face when they got close enough.

"That hurt, shithead!" Naruto yelled at him.

"Respect your authority!" Kakashi demanded of Naruto, "I am your Jounin sensei, and my word is your law." All fell silent. "Good. Now that I have your attention, I am willing to say that we are ready for a C-ranked mission. Let's go get it." Kakashi said.

"I am not going near Sarutobi. Not for a while. He set me up in an arranged marriage with some chick from _Kumo_." Naruto growled the last part, again. He then realised that Hinata was there, and wished he could dissapear.

"Ano, Naru-kun, why are you backing away from me?" She pondered of him.

"I thought you would have a problem with that, and would try to kill me." Naruto replied, unsure of his life expectancy.

Hinata walked up to Naruto, who was shaking for his life, and whispered into his ear, "I am bi. The more girls with us, the better."

Naruto passed out, and was carried with them to the Hokage Tower. Sasuke pulled out some smellingsalts, and waved them under Naruto's nose. He jolted awake, and glared at Sasuke.

"Welcome to the land of the Living. I am your guide, Sasuke Uchiha. How may I help you?" Sasuke greeted him to consciesness.

"Teme. Let's go get our mission." Naruto grumbled.

Five minutes later, with the Hokage

* * *

"Your mission is to escort a high profile figure to the Land of Waves. Lead him in." Sarutobi breifed them.

The door opened, and Team Seven gasped at who entered the room.

* * *

Cliffy. Hate me? Too damn bad. I got a record amount of Reviews last chapter because of the Poll. Now if only I got that many on normal chapters... Anyways. Press the bluish button at the bottom left of your internet browser, type up a review, and click 'Submit'.  
Ja Ne, Namikaze Minato.


	8. Chapter 8

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"__Blah__"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon think.

**"****Blah****"**-Deity talk.

_**"**__**Blah**__**"**_-Deity think.

* * *

I am officially freaked out. My ex-girlfriend was a transsexual. How the hell did I not figure that out BEFORE now? I want to die now. Or throw myself into taekwondo, aikido, kung-fu drunken monkey style, and Tang Soo Do. Which is more painful... The martial arts is more painful, and that is the route I will take.

* * *

**chaosmaster**, I might, I might not.

**Narutofreak**, Get over it. That is my style.

**Graity**, What was with the three dots?

**Brooklyn**, Kishimoto will be mysteriously assassinated within the next three months and an American will take over Naruto.

* * *

"Aww, fuck." Naruto summed the trios thoughts up.

"Zabuza-sensei? Why the hell are you asking us for help?" Hinata asked more politely.

"Well, I really just wanted to see you three brats. The 'official' reason that I am here is because I need to be escorted to Nami no Kuni to take a job for money to kill off the Mizukage, so I am going to 'take a job' from the lowest of the low, Gatou. Filthy scum-bucket's company is just a ruse for his real intents; slavery, drug dealing, and 'Male Amusement' which is using women as sex toys. In reality, we are going to take out the bastard and split the money between us. Muahahaha." Zabuza finished with a maniacle laugh.

"Right. And, Zabuza, how in the hell are you going to classify this as a C-Ranked mission?" Naruto asked.

"Im not." He fired back.

Naruto just facefaulted, and Kakashi started wondering if they even remembered he was there.

Naruto, sensing Kakashi's thoughts, just said, "Yeah, we know you are there. Don't worry, Inu-sensei."

"So, this is the great 'Sharingan-no-Kakashi'?" Zabuza asked, "What a joke. I could kick his ass to Kuni and back if I wanted to."

"Hmm. Did you say something?" Kakashi used his 'Anti-Gai' voice.

Zabuza simply started crying, making Sasuke laugh his ass off.

"Wow. Someone actually got the log out of Sasuke's ass. It is a fucking miracle. Which one of you did it?" Zabuza asked between tears.

"He was just a prick because he didn't like zanjutsu training. He prefers shorter swords, like his own." Naruto gave the sentence a double meaning.

"Naruto, you shit-muffin, don't even start with the jealousy of my 'Little Sasuke', ok?" Sasuke said lightly.

All was silent, until Naruto busted a gut, "Your 'Little Sasuke?' I would never be jealous of something smaller than mine. I can't even imagine insulting my 'Naruto Jr.', not a 'Little Naruto.' I can't believe it. What a jo-" Naruto got out before being kicked in the stomach by Zabuza.

"Annoying brat. Let's get going for the mission." Zabuza said.

"Rea-ready." Naruto wheezed from his human shaped hole in the wall.

"Set." Sasuke muttered.

"Let's go, then!" Hinata squealed.

"How are you three already ready?" Zabuza dug into their 'Readiness'.

"Storage seals, preservation seals, and multiplication seals on our clothes. No problem for a seal-master like Naruto," Sasuke responded.

"I even have a bag of potatoe chips with those seals at the bottom of it." Naruto claimed.

"So you have a bag of emo chips? That isn't healthy, I suppose," Sarutobi joked. (Potatoe is the Japanese translation for Emo)

"I meant potato chips, sorry." Naruto corrected himself.

"I still think that you should make one of those bags for Chouji. Just my personal opinion." Sarutobi said.

"Nope. Then I would have to make one for each flavor. Too damn much work." Naruto replied.

"Let's just go. I am getting tired of standing here doing nothing. C'mon!" Kakashi ordered them.

"Alright, see you, Jiji. Zabuza, trace our shunshin, and follow the chakra path using your own shunshin, ok?" Naruto asked the rhetorical question.

"Alright. Move it." He replied.

Naruto just smirked at Zabuza, and the four of them shunshin'ed away without handsigns. Zabuza applied enough of his own chakra to his body to shunshin, and jumped in their chakra trace. Nigh instantly, they were at the first checkpoint; fifteen miles outside of Konoha.

"Zabuza, hide your chakra. If possible, shrink it to about that of a rabbit. We don't want the Karyuudo to find us. Bastards have no sense of proper timing to show up. Damnit." Sasuke instructed Zabuza.

"The who?" he asked while doing as told.

"The Karyuudo. They are a group of 9 that Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, and I control. They just have the worst timing to ask for instruction on the face of the planet. Damn. They noticed us." Kakashi replied.

"Oi, Inu-san, what do you want us to do now?" Ryoushi , the in-group leader of the Karyuudo asked.

"We need you to continue monitering that Inmetsu character. Give us a scroll of his activities now, and once a month. Send them to the Hokage with this seal on it." Kakashi gave the orders to the Karyuudo.

"Hai. We will be back in one year." Ryoushi answered.

"Sayonara Ryoushi." Naruto said with a smirk.

"Finally we are rid of them for an extended period of time!" Hinata yelled as soon as they were out of hearing range.

"So, Zabuza, where is Haku?" Naruto asked.

"She is back in wave waiting for us. She didn't have an extreme conviction to 'connect' with you three again at the moment." Zabuza answered.

"Aww, Haku-chan doesn't want to see her future husband and wife?" Hinata asked with a pseudo-innocent voice. In reality, she was thinking, _"What the hell? I thought she loved us damnit. What is her problem?"_

"Don't worry, Hinata, she is just resting for sparring, as we know Sasuke-baka-no-cho(Sasuke the Retard/Butterfly) will undoubtedly challenge her to." Zabuza quickly said for Haku's defense.

"Meh, I still don't like you calling me that, Zabuza-unchisesshoku (Zabuza shit feed/shit eater). You need to stop calling me that, you son of a bitch." Sasuke responded, flipping him the bird.

"Little..." Zabuza got out before having a senbon intersect his neck, knocking him out.

"Glad Haku-chan tought me how to use senbon..." Hinata muttered darkly.

Naruto just sighed, released two levels of his gravity-resistance seals, and slung Zabuza over his shoulder. They started walking towards the ocean, and finally saw Gatou's ship. Naruto flicked Zabuza in the forehead to wake him up(This really does work. It is a pressure point, so it doesn't work on me. You can ask Brisingar, who is my best friend in R/L) making Zabuza punch him in the stomach.

"What the hell is your jacket made out of?" Zabuza winced.

"Well, it was just cloth until you hit it, which activated an alchemy circle, causing it to turn into titanium. Sorry for the mild dis-comfort in your knuckles." Naruto brushed his 'light tap' off.

Haku jumped into the scene, and pulled Naruto into a deep kiss. Hinata finally got impatient, and joined in forcefully.

"Mph, I neeth thome airths!" Naruto tried to say, but the two females got the point.

"Sorry." Haku apoligized.

"Well I'm not. It felt good!" Hinata exclaimed.

"Let's just get our goal of Gatou's money, kill him, and sink the ship." Zabuza reminded them.

"Alright!" Naruto shouted, before dashing off towards the flagship.

* * *

Shortest chapter EVER! I know it sucks, sorry. School needs to die a very uncomfortable death. Ja ne, Namikaze Minato.


	9. Chapter 9

Alchemist Ninja: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto(I leave this to Kishimoto Masashi), or any other character except my OC. Nor do I own Fullmetal Alchemist(I leave this to Hiromu Arakawa.)

"Blah"-Human talk.

"_Blah"_-Human think/Mindscape link.

_"__Blah__"_-Inner Sakura/Hinata.

**"Blah"**-Demon talk.

_**"Blah"**_-Demon think.

**"****Blah****"**-Deity talk.

_**"**__**Blah**__**"**_-Deity think.

* * *

Hello. I honestly think that people are starting to dismiss this story. Whatever.

**Damien Murillo**, Please log into FF if you are going to submit a review. It would be very helpful. But, to answer our question, I do not mind if you twist the story a little, but please give credit to the original author of the storyline, me.

* * *

"So, how the fuck-bucket are we going to do this?" Zabuza asked.

"Duh, moron. I use my stamp to put an invisibility seal on each of us, we walk up the sides of that yacht, we scare the fucking shit out of Gatou so that he gives us his bank account information. He will give us all of the information for all of his accounts. I can tell if he is lying or not." Naruto told him.

Naruto pulled out a stamp that has an intricate seal on it; then he retrieved ink from one of his numerous pockets. Lightly pressing the stamp to the ink pad, he pushed it onto Sasuke's arm. Sasuke quickly faded out of sight. (Think Active Camoflauge from Halo 3) "Once you get the seal, you can see others that have the seal. Quite intricate and was a pain in the ass to make." He repeated the process with the other members of the group. He finally pressed the stamp up against his shoulder, resealed the fuinjutsu supplies away, and they were off.

They ran across the water, Kakashi at point, Hinata at the rear, Naruto and Sasuke at the Flanks and Zabuza in the middle. They took this formation for a reason; the leader and strongest of the team at the lead, the tracker and scouter at the rear as to warn them of any threats coming from behind, the two taijutsu and ninjutsu orientated shinobi at the sides, and the client in the middle. When they reached the yacht, they paused for a moment, looked at each other, and nodded. Sasuke, of course, had a smirk on his face; Hinata was confident, but her face betrayed no emotion; Naruto was grinning like a cheschire cat; Zabuza looked bored ; and Kakashi had his usual Icha Icha Paradisu out.

They sprinted over the edge of the boat, accidentally knocking into one of the guards there. Naruto just snapped his fingers, and small explosions sent the guards on that level flying over the edge. While they waited a moment for his invisibility to come back into effect, Hinata was searching for Gatou's whereabouts on the ship.

"Found the selfish bastard. The uppermost room, three o'clock." Hinata notified them.

They all looked in the direction she specified and smirked. They focused a minute amount of chakra into thier feet and jumped toward the room. They landed directly infront of the door, still in formation. Kakashi cast a low level genjutsu on Gatou through the walls of the cabin, making it seem as though all was normal. They opened the door, closed it, and Kakashi released the Genjutsu.

Naruto decided to fuck with Gatou's head for a minute before revealing themselves. He recasted the genjutsu Kakashi had casted first, and made a fireball. He was going to make Gatou sweat like the swine he is. He slowly made the fireball bigger and bigger. He made it self sustaining once it was as big as a beachball. He whipped up a low level wind jutsu to spread the heat. Sure enough, Gatou started sweating. He reached over to the thermostat, making it lower. He got to fifty degrees, and Naruto grinned like the devil. He kept the jutsu going until the room around Gatou got to the temperature he set it at, and simply killed off the jutsu.

"W-what t-t-the h-hell?" Gatou shuddered under his breath. Naruto and co had to hold in laughter at his shivering form. Gatou returned the thermostat to its normal, 85 degrees.

Naruto, being the devious person he is, took out a kunai and carved a message into the wall of the cabin directly infront of Gatou. The message read _'You have committed many crimes in your lifetime. Therefore, Kami has sent me to haunt you. Be prepared for a lifetime of hell.'_ Naruto carved it in the scariest font he could imagine. The others in the group were impressed with what he was doing to, as he put it earlier, 'Scare the fucking shit out of Gatou,' he was doing a damn good job of it.

Naruto started slowly dispelling the genjutsu when Gatou was looking directly at the word 'You' that he carved. Gatou's face was priceless when he saw carved words apear in the wall of his cabin. His face turned to horror when he finished reading the words. Naruto decided to mess with him just a little more. He carved into the wall, _'Infact, there are five of us...'_

Gatou nearly had a heart attack. First, it got really hot in the cabin of his personal yacht, then it turned freezing, then he set the thermostat to normal, then words carved into the wall started apearing, and new ones were carved as he watched right now. He was scared, and somehow, he knew he was going to die.

Naruto and co walked infront of Gatou's desk, and willed themselves to slowly fade into existance. Gatou nearly defacated in his pants when five people appeared in his personal room. He tried to hit the emergency warning button on his desk, but when the one with blond hair snapped his fingers, the button blew up.

"Gatou, today you die. But first, you have to give us your bank information. This includes ALL of your accounts, the names they are registered under, the PIN numbers, and any extranneous information that we need to make withdrawls." Naruto said before sitting down in front of Gatou.

"Not on your fucking life." Gatou spat.

"Very poor choice of words, Gatou." Naruto smiled before Kakashi and Zabuza pinned his arms to the wall. Naruto clapped his hands together and onto the walls next to Gatou's wrists. The wooden wall conformed to Naruto's will and wrapped around Gatou's arms, trapping him to the wall. Naruto simply started twisting Gatou's ankle. "Tell me the information I want or your ankle will snap. You lie, your ankle snaps, you withhold information, your ankle snaps. It would be a generally good idea to tell me what I want. You comply and you get a painless death."

Gatou felt the pressure on the joints in his ankle, and decided that this person wouldn't hesitate to go through with his threat. He began talking, "Okay, okay, I will talk. I have a total of five bank accounts." Naruto smelled that the rat was telling the truth, so he nodded. "One is Gato Masoni, the PIN is 2836. The others are under Gatou Shipping Industries LLC. They all have the PIN of 3997." Gatou spilled. Naruto nodded, knowing he was telling the truth.

"Good job. You were able to tell the truth. I am impressed. For that, you die a painless death." Naruto said before clapping his hands together and placing them on Gatou's desk. Tendrils of wood shot at Gatou, hitting him in the Jugular, Aorta, Brain, Heart, Liver, Pancreas, and Kidneys. Gatou was dead so fast, he didn't feel anything. "At least I was kind to the bastard, I let him off painlessly. Let's loot his body for any money he happens to have on him." Naruto said.

They checked his pockets and found a nice sum of four hundred million ryo on him. They made off like the bandits they are, crossed back to the land, and Naruto snapped his fingers. The ship exploded in a massive fireball that would impress some of the weaker atomic bombs that we have now-adays. Naruto chuckled and thought back on what Ed, Al, Winry, and Toumoku have done for him. They have made him strong and respected. They have gotten him some powerful teachers, while being great teachers themselves.

The group walked to the hotel they were staying at and wasted the rest of the day. Naruto and Hinata went to their room to go to sleep and...

* * *

Lol. I just had to stop it their, didn't I? Yeah, pretty much.

Im having a poll here.

Do you want a hot, steamy, threeway lemon here or not? Also, explain why if the answer is no.

Yes-

No-

Namikaze Minato OUT!


	10. HIATUSADOPTION

_**ATTENTION!**_

**I am placing all of my stories EXCEPT for "The Arrancar King" up for adoption.**

**That means "Alchemist Ninja: Naruto" "Death is Just a Ruse" "Naruto, the Friend of Many" and "The Holder of Ten" are ALL up for adoption. Just give me credits for the original idea(s). They are also on a permanent hiatus unless the inspiration bunny comes along and kicks my ass for all of those stories. **

**- Namikaze Minato**


	11. Announcement!

_**And now for the announcement of the century!**_

**But really only for this year.**

After months of not writing any Fanfiction, I've decided to return. And also, I've been rewatching all the anime from my childhood (Rurouni Kenshin, Yu Yu Hakusho, Neon Genesis Evangelion, etcetera.) Now, to appease all you guys who got pissed at me for leaving to work on my novels (which I lost when I had to reformat my hard drive D:) I'm going to work on Fanfics again. And they're going to be better than ever. And stuff. And I think I'm going to branch away from the constant fighting and death and junk that I seemed to stay with when I wrote before. And I'm going to get into NGE and RuroKen and YuYu fics. More than just Naruto and BLEACH. :)

Be forewarned, however: I have restricted internet access, so updates will probably be far in between, unless I can use my school's internet to get here, and also, I may end up stopping production on a story because I get bored with it or I feel like the earlier chapters become a disgrace to my evolving writing abilities.  
Or I'll just go and rewrite the early chapters. Or something.

Oh, and I'll drop a story if I feel like I introduce way too many plotholes for it to be cohesive.

So, have fun!


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